It’s been a wild and crazy year for me, personally, professionally, emotionally, physically, etc. Most of my focus has been on building an ICF house with my business partner and getting my daughter through the process of applying to college. I had a milestone birthday, went to my first ever NFL game and had an absolute blast, did a little traveling to West Virginia to pick up a puppy and spent the holidays surrounded by my entire family and favorite people. I’ve only read five books this year, albeit five rather large novels. Dickens’s Bleak House and Maugham’s On Human Bondage especially resonated with me because of the writing styles and the resiliency of the characters that these authors portray. I keep thinking about Sir Leicester Dedlock in Bleak House who seems like an unemotional, conservative, upper class Englishman who only cares about his family name and title. But when he learns a secret that his wife has been hiding from him for years, he decides that he doesn’t care about any of it. His love and devotion for her and his resilience are what carries him through. He isn’t discussed as much as some of Dickens’s other, more interesting characters, but Sir Dedlock left a lasting impression on me.
Resilience has been the theme, yet again, for me this year. Sometimes I wonder how many times I can suffer a setback or a disappointment before I am shattered and can’t put the pieces back together anymore. But, then again, I’ve also had the privilege of witnessing the incredible resilience of my daughter who has handled her own setbacks with poise and grace. So as I sit here on one of the last days of the year, with physical scars on my hands and legs from pouring concrete and the old, figurative scars on my heart, I have an overwhelming sense of pride and excitement for what is ahead of me in the new year. Jane Hirshfield, in her newest collection, The Asking, reminds me that wounds and scars are a good thing, they bring us closer to our humanity and make us stronger and more connected to the world and those we care about:
For What Binds Us
There are names for what binds us:
strong forces, weak forces.
Look around, you can see them:
the skin that forms in a half-empty cup,
nails rusting into the places they join,
joints dovetailed on their own weight.
The way things stay so solidly
wherever they've been set down---
and gravity, scientist say, is weak.
And see how the flesh grows back
across a wound, with a great vehemence,
more strong
than the simple, untested surface before.
There's a name for it on horses,
when it comes back darker and raised: proud flesh,
as all flesh
is proud of its wounds, wears them
as honors given out after battle,
small triumphs pinned to the chest---
And when two people have loved each other
see how it is like a
scar between their bodies,
stronger, darker, and proud;
how the black cord makes of them a single fabric
that nothing can tear or mend.
I do know that more reading and writing need to be an integral part of my year—I wrote to an acquaintance recently that immersing myself in big, complex books and poetry like Hirschfields’s is good for my scars and my soul.
The Book Binder's Daughter 
You’ve had such a year, Melissa, and achieved so much – always impressed with how you cope with life. And as long as what you’ve read has been good that’s all that matters. It’s decades since I read Bleak House but I know I loved it – one day I will re-read!
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Thank you so much, Karen! And Bleak House is definitely worth a reread.
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Well, I read The Doll a good few years ago, and recently thought about re-visiting it, so your photo has strengthened my resolve. And Temptation seems, well, tempting, from a couple of reviews I just looked up. Greetings.
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May the resilience you have gained see you to greater achievements, personally and professionally in the years to come. Reflecting on my own experience, I think it is to easy to become numb and fail to see how the fires we have come through have forged in us greater strengths. To recognize and build on that strength takes courage which I am certain you have, judging by how far you have already come. When you are ready to write about, what a story you will have to tell!
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Thank you so much, Joe! I always appreciate your support. I do struggle against numbness often. It’s so easy to succumb to the heaviness I have felt in the past few years. But I usually manage to shake it off. Happy new year!
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That’s a beautiful poem, Melissa. It is true that our scars are signs of our resilience. We can endure more than we think, though at the time of the wounding it never feels like it. Wishing you an excess of resilience in 2024, may the world be kind x
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Thank you!! xx
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I studied Bleak House at school and still remember that incredibly long opening fog metaphor. Wouldn’t it be great if the legal system had improved since then!
I’m in awe of your resilience and how you’ve dealt with such adversity, Melissa. Very much hoping that 2024 will be kinder to you and your daughter.
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Thank you, Susan!
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I also read Of Human Bondage this year – back in January – what a book! I’d been meaning to read it for years. I watched the 1934 film version (with Leslie Howard & Bette Davis) afterwards as well—I was impressed with that as well. Worth watching if you haven’t seen it.
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Oh thank you for the recommendation! I will definitely look for that. Happy new year, Jonathan!
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Thank you very much for your experience and thoughts.
All the best wishes for a happy and peaceful new year.
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Thank you and happy new year to you as well!
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Beautiful post, Mel. Thanks for sharing your year with us. You’ve read wonderful books. I loved Of Human Bondage. Hoping to read Bleak House one of these days. Sending you and Claire hugs ❤️ You both are very inspiring! Wish you both and your fur babies and all your loved ones a very Happy New Year 😊 Looking forward to your posts next year.
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I know you’ve had your own struggles this year, Vishy. I hope you are doing well. Happy new year!! ❤️ And I really think you would love Bleak House!!
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Thank you, Mel 😊
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I feel bad about reading this post and replying to it so late – I’ve been completely immersed in family things with my sons this holiday period – lovely but makes me feel like I have lots to catch up on now. It sounds like it really has been an incredibly busy year, and I completely understand what you say about resilience and scars – we humans are not like concrete, pain and setbacks do not always reinforce us. I hope you find peace and satisfaction and inspiration in your work, family and friends, and that 2024 will be an easier year for you.
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Welcome back 🥰
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Thank you!
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I have just found your website on the post about Musil’s Man without Qualities. I then went to your homepage & have just read what appears to be your last article.
Even though I have only read a couple of your articles, I can say that I am saddened by the fact that you have not posted anything since ’23. Timing has never been my strong suit. So it goes.
I know that sometimes life can get in the way of living, but I do hope that you get the opportunity to write much more. In the meantime, I will have to satisfy myself with your past works (but given the quality of your writing, this will certainly be a joy). I did take Ancient Greek for a couple of years while in college, & I was just thinking about going back to the beginning, that is, The Illiad & Popes translation of it.
On a personal note, I am a big fan of ICF construction & I hope your building was a success.
I will check back in from time to time to see if anything new is up & to enjoy all of your current writing.
I wish you well,
MCRumph
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Thank you so much for your comments! I have been meaning to get back to writing on my blog. I’m currently reading Petersburg by Bely. That might inspire me to domy first post in a while! Feel free to email me as well if you have any book suggestions to send my way. Thank you again!
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