The last time I saw him was in 1996. We were students in the Classics department at SUNY Buffalo and our year-long, incandescent love affair was ending; I was staying in Buffalo and he was going off to Rome or Canada—geography and decisions of youth were separating us—I was 22 and he was 28. A tearful, bittersweet goodbye, but a promise to be friends and stay in touch.
I distinctly remember when we connected as first year grad students. We were sitting in the seminar room waiting for our Odyssey class to begin; we were both overwhelmed and frustrated being in a Ph.D. program for Classics and in the harsh, unforgiving winter of Buffalo. We instantly became a source of support for each other and our senses of humor, our goofiness, and just being around him sustained me and made me so much happier throughout that year.
In addition to his sense of humor, his blue eyes—the way that they looked at me so intensely—, his strong hands and the way he called me his “honeybee” just melted me. My best memories of us are mundane yet blissfully happy ones: shopping on Elm Street, drinking the lattes he made me that would knock my socks off, watching our favorite TV shows, cramming for class, laughing too loud in his library carrel and drifting off to sleep in his arms. We spent so much time together that year and I fell madly in love with him, my first real, true, adult love.
We did stay in touch for a little while, but our lives took us in different directions. He was in Rome, had started a new life, was with someone else. I remember lots of tears and heartache over that summer and my mother consoling me but also being firm—“You need to move on.”
And so I did. A nearly twenty-year marriage, a beautiful daughter, a teaching career, a wonderful home. In 2010 he popped up on Facebook and I could see that he had done well for himself, too. I sent him a private message which he never got, but I was glad to see from his profile that he had a wife, two beautiful children, a successful career, a happy home.
In February of this year I had a very intense, vivid dream about him. We were together again and I felt that pure happiness I had experienced with him all those years ago. But why? Why, all of a sudden, did I dream about him? I hadn’t thought about him in a while. And about a week later I saw a post he made on Facebook which was very rare for him. He never used his account but just so happened to be moving and was using Marketplace to sell some things. What a coincidence since I had just had that dream. The synchronicity was just too great—I had to message him.
As we reconnected and talked for hours it was apparent that the last few years had been painful and trying for both of us. I was a widow, had raised my daughter on my own, started a new career. He had gone through a divorce and a health scare. When he called me his Honeybee all those wonderful memories and all that love came flooding back. I had to work up the courage to ask him if he was dating at all and his response was, “I haven’t had any interest in dating, until I reconnected with you…”
On April 11th I got on a plane to Edmonton where he lives now and for the first time in twenty-nine years I was in his arms again. The scene at the airport felt surreal, like we were in a clip from a Hallmark movie. We spent a magical five days together, and then he followed me back to New England where we spent Easter at my home.
Those intense blue eyes, those strong hands, and that handsome smile are all the same. His sense of humor, his gentleness, and his kindness are still there too. His resilience, his wisdom and his deep love for me are all new.
Alice Walker’s poem “Even So” resonates:
Love, if it is love, never goes away.
It is embedded in us,
like seams of gold in the Earth,
waiting for light,
waiting to be struck.
The Book Binder's Daughter 
Well that made me tear up. I’m so happy for you, Melissa. 🙂
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Thank you, Joe! I’ll be spending a lot more time in Canada!
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If you ever come down to Calgary, let me know. I’m only three hours from Edmonton.
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That would be great!! I’ll let you know!
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What a beautiful reconnection! Am so delighted for the both of you.
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Thank you, Marina! ❤️
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Absolutely delighted for you both, Melissa! xx
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Thank you so much! ❤️
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This is so lovely to hear, Melissa, and you’ve put together a moving, beautifully written piece to share with us. I’m so happy for you!
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Thank you so much, Jacqui!
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I’m so happy for you. I am an 81 year old woman who loves the classics, although I only have a high school education. I translate a little every day…
I remember reading your posts when your husband was tragically killed; my heart went out to you then., and to your daughter, too.
You are so right. “Love is as perennial as the grass. “. Love on, my dear. Kathy Heinze
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Thank you so much for your well wishes! I’m so glad to find someone else who loves the Classics!
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That is such a sweet, meant-to-be story. Wishing you two all the best!
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Thank you so much, Rebecca!
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I love this so much. Wishing you every happiness x
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Oh Melissa, this warms my heart – how wonderful! Sending you both lots of love. xx
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Thank you so much, Karen! ❤️
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Wonderful. I too had a similar tale after forty years apart. Sadly, it didn’t have quite the happy outcome, but it was nonetheless a special time. I wrote a poem about the way such an absence played with my imagination over the years. I used the Portuguese concept of saudade to explore it.
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Oh that’s wonderful! Thanks for sharing.
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Dear bookbinders daughter, glad to read from you anew. What a story you share, of recollection and connecting. I got to look up “incandescent”. Oxford English-German Dictionary says: “glühend”. Would “glowing” be appropriate? Anyway, all good wishes to both of you and your families, sends Bernd
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Thank you so much for the lovely comment! Yes, glowing is a good translation!
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May your love and relation glow and grow and flourish for ever more.
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Thank you so much!!!
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I randomly came across your account on twitter one day like a year or so ago and it was a tweet about grief that I could really relate to. Before I even read this post I just can’t forget to comment and say that I’m really happy for you!!! ❤
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Thank you, that’s so nice of you!
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Oh my goodness, what an absolutely beautiful story. I’m so happy for (both of) you!
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Thank you so much, Liz!
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Thanks for sharing,What a truly heartwarming story!
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Such a lovely story. Thank you for sharing.
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Late to this, but so happy to hear it, Melissa! Get down to Calgary some time when you’re in Edmonton…
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Thanks so much, Dorian! I’m in Edmonton now for a while. Enjoying the break from the US.
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